Monday, August 23

A Different Race

While the “what if’s” used to appeal to me, they now turn me off. I now only deal with the things I can control and that goes to say I only deal with myself and my actions. The “what if’s” that come about from not knowing another’s mental standpoint would consume me in the past. A game I felt I was highly equipped to play since I always ultimately got my way.

The optimistic in me held on to little signs of compassion. The warrior inside of me fought for what I wanted, got up, wiped myself off, and fought again…to lose. The ego that roars within me wouldn’t let me give up. You see these qualities in a human should be commendable, as it is rare to find people that fight that hard for what they want, due to the discouragement that comes from potential failure. But when it comes to other people and their feelings, I’ve learned that you should never fight for their affection or attention.

Unless you can maturely interpret all the times you’ve been wrong, those are the times that you fight: To make things right. To reach for goals. But never for another individual whom doesn’t see you the same way you see them! If another isn’t convinced of the amazing qualities that are unique to you, then you drop them. Know that you’re absolutely beautiful in your own way and someone will come around and accept you as you are. The person to love doesn’t ask for change, they only ask that you don’t. They love all of you and your flaws. They will work with you and you will guide each other in positive directions. The person you shouldn’t chase will get you lost in a never ending tunnel, a mess, and have you wondering how you got there in the first place.

Although a chase was fun or somewhat acceptable when I was young, I now find it draining. Mental mind games come of little appeal to me now. Taking chances with the heart are nice until you realize that you only have one. I’ve vowed to take care of mine. I feel like I was once a rebellious child, the one who never listened to his mom when she said to “stop playing so rough!” It turns out that the child got hurt enough to know the difference of when the fall was actually worth the pain. The fall´s not worth it through stupidity, yet there should be no humility in a natural fall. It happens.

Maybe I’ve grown up because I recognize I’m not the same daredevil I used to be. But will do flips and go through fire for someone worth it. And those are the people I know would do the same for me. As for the rest, I don’t have time to run in marathons, chasing people who don’t want to be caught. It’s not that I give up. I just believe we’re in a different race.

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