A few weeks ago when I was posting consistently, the amount of love I got was tremendous and far beyond what I ever anticipated. I was connected with not just people in close proximity but people from all over the world sending me messages and commending me on my work.
I was so flattered. What would seem to most at an initiative to keeeeep writing, suddenly left me frozen. I started truly questioning myself and why I seem to run away from spotlight positions. Was I scared of my own possible success? Have other people ever felt the way I did?
In the world we live in today, there are millions of people who have that front and center mentality. Some will lie, manipulate, and mislead to get there. I guess I never wanted to be associated with these people.
I don’t want to be another trending topic just to be able to retweet that I was. I want to inflict that inspiration that will be “pending” inside of others hearts and levitate to the surface when they need it most. I don’t want to be successful just to tell others I was. I want the essence of my spirit to never be forgotten and to be passed down.
I guess I stop writing and reciting when it seems demanding. When I created this blog it was not supposed to ever run on a dead line. It wasn’t to write things to keep my readers interested but have no substance in what I’m saying. It wasn’t to build on my numbers or my brand. It was to touch just one because I knew that if my words touched one, then they would touch another.
Please forgive me for my inconsistency but just know that this blog will always reflect its title. I won’t go on command because of the demand of a crowd.
I’m not scared of success. I’m just scared of not keeping it authentic.
Bare with me because I will take those topics that people are scared to discuss or don’t know how to word out of hibernation. I will find those missing gems (of people) that have been hidden in the cracks.
Just like the bear I need my rest. My inspiration comes from those moments of silence, not the applaud of a crowd.